How To Support Someone With Depression

How to support someone with depression? There’s a lot being said about people who suffer from it and how to get help but I feel like not a lot is being said or expressed by those who have a loved one that suffers from depression.

I am one of those. A very dear person in my life has struggled with depression for years. It is hard for me to talk about this and I won’t go into details about my loved one ordeal.  This is video is for you, the person who has a loved one who may be depressed. your support and encouragement can play an important role in his or her recovery.

Check out the video here:

I promise you, they appreciate it, even though it feels like you’re repeating yourself over and over and nothing. Rest assure, you MUST take care of yourself as well.

What you need to remember:

  • It is not personal
  • This is not a game, it is serious
  • Ignoring it, won’t make it go away
  • You. Can’t. Fix. It.

BUT your are the first line of defense in the fight against depression. Always remember that 2 ears 1 mouth ratio. Just encourage them to talk in a kind way and listen, listen, listen.  And of course, ask if they need advice – don’t just offer it.

You can also try asking questions like:

  • Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?
  • How can I best support you right now?
  • Have you thought about getting help?

Avoid saying:

  • Just snap out of it.
  • What’s wrong with you?
  • Shouldn’t you be better by now?
  • It’s all in your head.
  • We all go through times like this.
  • Look on the bright side.
  • You have so much to live for why do you want to die?
  • I can’t do anything about your situation.

How to do take care of yourself???

  • Set boundaries: ask your loved one to get a therapist
  • Take some time for yourself every day, especially if you live with the depressed person
  • Seek support from a trusted friend – make sure they are discreet
  • Keep living your own life

6 thoughts on “How To Support Someone With Depression”

  1. Wow….so strange that I am right in the middle of this exact situation and up pops your video. Oh my gosh…I hear what you are saying and I so agree that your words have to be carefully chosen and that you have to take care of yourself. My loved one is 90 years old and would like for my sister and I to come live with her full time. But that is just not healthy for us or our own families. So we do the best we can do and are working at getting her into an Assisted Living facility and getting her some professional help. It’s a very sad situation as you well know. I have great guilt about not staying with her, but I’ve had breast cancer twice (partly caused by stress) and I just cannot let myself be pulled into her darkness. I can just be supportive and kind and loving. Thank you for this video. It was so reassuring to know that I am right in knowing the importance of taking care of yourself (while you try to help your loved one).

    1. So glad this resonated and in some small way is helping you. It is so so hard but we’re (unfortunately) not alone. Sending you lots of love and light.

  2. Good morning Jovanka! I enjoyed listening to your video. It is very true what you mentioned about what to avoid saying to a depressed loved one. I have gone through depression myself in the past. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depressive disorder. I have tried many prescription meds and now herbal supplements work best for me. I love you too.

  3. Hello Jovanka,

    Thank you so much for posting this. I am so happy to see more people talk about depression and healthy ways to communicate and address the situation. It is more common than people think and it effects anyone that knows someone that is either going through depression, had it in the past or even has taken their life.
    I used to be severely depressed and I remember how much it affected all of my relationships around me. My family, friends and boyfriend at the time. The hardest was when my boyfriend couldn’t “fix it” as you mentioned. He took it so personally and I could see him sink into a sadness of his own because he felt helpless. Being on the other side it was even harder for me during my battle because I felt bad on how I was making people feel. I felt like a Debbie downer, a burden. It was a viscous cycle. Thankfully I am no longer a victim to depression but have now encountered being in the position of the outside looking in. Much like you are.

    Taking everything that I have learnt from my experience I hope to help others who are suffering and who know people that are suffering to learn natural ways to heal and certain communicating tips. I am currently working on my website that will target much of this as a discussion along with feel good healthy recipes. Once I have my site up and running, may I create a link to your website and this video in particular? Or is there perhaps a better way to communicate with you about this that is not a public forum?

    Please let me know your thoughts on this and perhaps we can communicate on this subject further. Thank you again for this post. It really hit home.


    1. Hi Kendra – glad you were able to conquer your issues and thrive!Yes, you can share this post on your site, with a link back to my site. Happy to discuss further if needed. You can email me at jovanka [@]

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