Healing Toxic Self Shame

Do you feel like the feelings of self-shame have gone from frequent to overwhelming? Do you exhibit signs of toxic self-shame?

Firstly, let’s talk about what I mean by toxic self-shame…. (scroll down for the video)!

In my experience, toxic self shame is behavior that manifest in various ways, including:

• Frequently reliving traumatic memories that caused embarrassment
• Feeling jaded and distrustful of other people, even when they exhibit kindness
• Self-loathing and low self-esteem
• Feelings of unworthiness
• Dysfunctional relationships
• Self-sabotage
• Feelings of being a “fraud” (also known as imposter syndrome)
• Self-victimization
• Perfectionism
• Defensiveness
• Irrational guilt

Some of the common internal chatter for people that feel this way include:

• I am not worthy of love
• I’m stupid
• I am stupid
• I am a failure
• No one cares

So how to we get rid of this chatter and slowly move towards a state of healing?

I like using a 4-step process that I’m outlining here (and you can see described in the video in more detail). Details below the video!

1. The ‘Look in the Mirror’ exercise

Look into your eyes and think of something genuinely loving, like “I love you,” “I accept you,” “You are worthy,” “You are beautiful.” You can spend three to ten minutes doing this.

2. Become Aware of your Self-Destructive Thoughts

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is something that should be practiced every day. Without exceptions.

4. Heal your Inner Child

Some of the best ways to connect with your inner child include:

• Creative writing
• Meditation with images from when you were a child.
• Visualizations of your childhood.